I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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