zippers are such a cool invention
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
