pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
