it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
