yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
