i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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