Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize