she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
