did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
