fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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