my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
