I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
