When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize