Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
