Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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