there's paper in my vomit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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