She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
