THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
