If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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