And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
BRING THE BAGELS
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize