Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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