They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
