I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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