it hurts more in the daytime
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
