His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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