Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
