i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
