i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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