Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
