So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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