My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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