I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have already put on my inside pants.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize