Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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