from now on my penis is your penis
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
