I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
