u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize