guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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