I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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