he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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