he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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