we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
