Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my vagina is haunted
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
