Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
