he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize