She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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