i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
