He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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