i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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