Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
