I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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