is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
