I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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