Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
