fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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