I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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