he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
