I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
