Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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