People in love make me want to vomit
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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