You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
