marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
