I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
