My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
