My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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