If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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