i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
