Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I sprained my soul last night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
