think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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