why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
