she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
