Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
