Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize