you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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